Watkins Glen, NY: Inside sources have reported that during Super Ball IX, for the first time in the band’s twenty-five year career, drummer John Fishman and keyboardist Page McConnell actually spoke to each other.
Reportedly, Fishman, Page, and bandleader Trey Anastasio were hanging out in the backstage tent area between sets. Mike Gordon had retired to his trailer in order to “meditate on the infinite space between holes in a slice of Swiss cheese.”
A security camera backstage picked up this first interaction between drummer and pianist. Our fearless reporters have obtained a copy of the video and have transcribed it below.
Trey: “Oh, man. I’m a little beat. Think I’m gonna relax. Take it easy before next set.”
Page: “Wait, you don’t need to go yet, do you?”
Fishman: “Yeah, forget it. Let’s hang out a bit longer.”
Trey: “Nah guys, I need to rest.”
Page: “Do you have to?”
Trey: “See ya guys.” [Trey departs backstage area. The two others sit in silence for over two minutes.]
Page: “Hey, Jon.”
Fishman: “Hey, Page.”
Page: “Sooooo.”
[ Two more minutes of awkward silence ensues. Finally, Fishman jumps to his feet.]
Fishman:“Hey! Wanna do a keg stand?”
Page: “No.”
[Fishman sits down. He then jumps up again.]
Fishman: “Hey! Wanna streak through the Farmer’s Market?”
Page: “No.”
[Fishman sits down again.]
Fishman: “Wanna hear a dead baby joke?”
Page: “No.”
[Thirty seconds of silence.]
Page: “Wanna see some pictures from my son’s birthday party?”
Fishman:”…No. Thanks.”
[Both band members stand and stretch. They mindlessly poke at different objects in the tent.]
Fishman: “Man, where’s Trey?”
Page: “Seriously, he’s been gone for, like, ever.”
Fishman and Page simultaneously: “Maybe we should go check up on him.”
At this point it was reported that the two band mates shared another awkward silence before storming Trey’s trailer, pounding on his door and awakening him from a deep nap, asking if he wanted to “throw a football around, or something.”
