Fan Manages to Get Arrested on Couch Tour

June 29, 2011
By AndysLastBeer

Mike’s Living Room, Passaic, NJ: 29-year-old Mike Singer somehow managed to get himself thrown in jail doing what has become commonly known as ‘couch tour,’ in which fans enjoy live streams of Phish shows from the comfort of their own houses.

“I don’t know man,” said Singer’s friend ‘Squirrel’, “we planned on doing the Raleigh show at Mike’s house. I bought a bunch of beers, had a bag of some tasties…everything was ready to go.”

Things, however, did not go according to plan. Says John Miller, Singer’s friend and fellow couch tourer, “we all went to Mike’s house for the show. First set was pretty sick. But during set break, a crazy fucking apocalyptic storm came through. We were OK in the pavilion [Mike’s living room], but I felt for the folks out on the lawn [Mike’s parents, barbecuing in the backyard]; they got it pretty bad.”

The fans managed to keep themselves entertained with beer and smoke, until the storm grew heavier and their Internet crapped out.

“The lights on the stage [the screen] went black,” said Miller. “We thought maybe the show was delayed because of the storm. But then we realized that, like, the show was 2500 miles away. It turns out, Mike just has a pretty crappy wireless connection. We decided to pack it up and head over to John’s house for the second set. He’s got heady DSL.”

The men scrambled in the driveway, packing coolers and camping chairs into the back of Miller’s Jeep Cherokee in the midst of stormy winds and heavy rain.

“That’s the price of tour, you know?” remarked Singer. “Always full of surprises. All that matters is that you get yourself to the next venue [house] in time for the music. That’s life on the road.”

According to sources, the friends took two cars to Miller’s house. Miller, his girlfriend, and their pal Squirrel made it to the house in time for the second set, but it wasn’t until the middle of Rift that somebody wondered where Mike was.  That was when the trio got the phone call that no one wants to hear on tour.

“I got popped,” Singer told us. “I was doing twenty-five in a school zone. They found my stash.”

According to Squirrel, “we had a decision to make. Second set was really heating up. You hate to leave in the middle of a show, but that’s part of the tour code, man. Your boy gets popped, you join together to get him out.”

The problem, according to sources, was that traffic was extremely backed up leaving the venue, delaying their chance at rescuing their incarcerated tour buddy.

“There was a fucking Com Ed truck double parked in my driveway,” said an exhausted Miller. “I guess, because of the storm, a tree got knocked down onto a power wire. We tried to find the driver, but he must’ve been up in the lines already. Life on the road, man. Whatchya gonna do?”

According to our sources, Miller, his girlfriend, and Squirrel were last seen walking door to door in the suburban neighborhood, knocking on doors and asking “got any change to bail our kid out of jail?”

Related posts:

  1. “Lots are lawless” Says Fan About To Be Arrested
  2. Fan Knocked Out For Off-Beat Stash Clap
  3. Phish Announces Summer Tour Will End with 3-day Festival at “Single Most Inconvenient Spot on the Face of the Earth”
  4. Internet to Phantasy Tour: Please Be Nicer

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